West Coast Bush Weta
Weta/Wetapunga/Deinacrida
Crawling, creeping, climbing among-st the leaves
On the bush floor
Creeps slowly up a kōwhai tree
Six armored legs
Like a soldier going to war
Hard brown shell
Protecting every move
Dark chocolate eyes
Searching for food
Munching on a puha flower
Fallen from a puha stem up high
Hiding from the robin above
Escaping the human foot
Cowering in a kōwhai tree to escape threats
Tiny weta eggs laid in the ground
Baby weta hiding among-st dead leaves
Adult weta creeping all around
By Aleece & Summer
Kia Ora Aleece,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your poem on the bush weta. I thought that you had incorporated deliberate words in your poem which gave your writing better effect and depths. In your poem it was evident that it included: the scientific and Maori names for the weta, where we would find your weta on the West Coast, the lifecycle and information on the food web your weta is apart of.
You also managed to included most language features. This included: simile, synonyms and sibilance with definite examples. However, you didn’t include homonyms which were apart of the success criteria. You included all of the phonological patterns, and they were clear to see.
Next time, you need to re-check your work closer looking for examples of what you need in your success criteria. This will then ensure you have all the key language features and more in your writing.
Thanks for sharing,
Molly
Hi Aleece,
ReplyDeleteI'm Zahra from Panmure Bridge School. I really enjoyed reading your poem about the Weta. Your poem is very interesting and I really like how you included many language features. Maybe next time, you could align your words in the centre so that it could looks neater. Also, how is life in Greymouth?
From Zahra
Kia Ora Zahra
DeleteI appreciate your comment! Thanks for the helpful feedback. However the way that when you copy and paste text into the posting document causes you to not be able to align the text.
Aleece
Karoro School
Kia Ora
ReplyDeleteI am unsure of your name as it says both Kate and Mackenzie. Thanks for your comment! We learnt about the weta in class and we also went online and did some research of your own.
Aleece
Karoro School